i've skinned it, now what

I DECIDE TO SIT. AND HEAR PINE. AND HEAR ARCTIC RUSH. AND HEAR IMPERCEPTIBLE. HEAR THE FOUR DAY SHIT RUMBLE IN MY STOMACH. HEAR THE BLOOD DRY ON MY BACK. HEAR THE CLARITY IN WILD UNFORGIVING

WILD

OPEN CALL

I ANSWER MY LAST CALL. TWO FISTS, DOUBLE FISTING THOSE TINY BOTTLES WE SWIPED FROM THE COCKPIT.

I DECIDE TO REST. AND HEAR WHAT I WANT TO HEAR. PINE. AND RUSH. AND THE SILENCE THAT FOLLOWS THE FINALITY OF ALL

BIG DECISIONS

I SIT AND LET SINK

LET SIT WHAT I WANT SINK

AND I

HEAR THE HOWL

OF WHAT I CHOSE TO OVERCOME JUST A MOMENT AGO

and it sinks and hits and infects

and I am shaking as I sit

and let the cold

and hunger

and the four day shit

and the slight buzz I’m feeling after these 4 bite size Patrons

AND FINALITY

as fur

and

FINALITY

as razor teeth

find me in what was supposed

to be my outcast moment

my outcast decision

my outcast finality

my outcast version of this

in which

I chose to sit

and rest

and wait for that

inevitable

realization that I’d

FUCK IT

AND DO IT

MYSELF

just

fine