troubleshoot

And slowly he ascends another ladder 
To fix the AstroTurf that needs a good fixing
As teacups shatter and troubleshooting begins
We skip a shoe
Climb a table
Avoid a hole
And hope that the glass doesn't find the souls of our feet
I once stepped on a pier which was coated with shards of glass
I felt them bury themselves into my heels and arches while missing my toes entirely
I kept walking as the lifeguard climbed to the top of his chair to blow his whistle at nobody in general
"this is the Pacific, honey... No one swims here"
I whispered to myself through gritted teeth and muffled sobs
You can't troubleshoot when your committed to a course of action
And my course was straight to the end
I let these multicolored shards make rainbows in my feet
It's the only color I'd seen in days
Other than that bright green of the fake grass that lines my wall and that needs to be stapled before each time I open my window
And even though he is forbidden to enter once I throw back the shades, he still tries to and I am still here
I walk straight now
Or as straight as I can with these new bandages
Wounds may heal
But in a few years I'll need better shoes with better support
Wounds may heal but muscles remember every tear
And I'm reminded
I'm reminded of this decision to walk straight and stop at the end
What for
Just to stop and feel the red under my left soul my right soul
And let it seep into the woodwork
This is the pacific honey
You don't just swim here
But I'm an east coast boy at heart
And I want to wash away the filth of the course I just took
I didn't jump that day on the pier when my feet were their own version of ruby slippers
It has taken me gauze and shame and the judgement of those who stand outside my window watching and waiting to clap
I'm an east coast boy at heart
And I want to wash away the filth of a path I took when I still believed life guards were a true authority figure in my life
When the grass was indeed real and greener
I deal in AstroTurf now
He can tell you
My feet can't tell the difference anymore so I'll go head first
And meet the Pacific the only way I know how